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This being my first pregnancy, I have nothing to compare to, nor do I have any idea what I’m in store for, but I don’t think natural childbirth is going to be that bad. We have yet to attend any training classes, but I’m not sure if I want to. Every time I read an article about childbirth I get a little bit more nervous. I’m afraid a class is going to make matters worse. I’d rather preserve my naivety and optimism. I believe when it comes to childbirth today, it’s more about what the doctor wants than what the mother can do. They schedule births so it doesn’t interrupt their life and push drugs under the pretense of elevating discomfort.

Again, this helps keep a schedule. Maybe once our little one arrives I’ll have a rebuttal for my own remarks.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Nelson Mandela

Kids are like dogs… just less hair. – Ryan

Out there, possibly where you live, there is a cat, a cat that likes to kill. But is it as gruesome as Jeff?
http://www.whatjeffkilled.com/

And for those of you that remember SNL, you will love this:

http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandy.com/

I don’t forward chainmail, so I’ll post it.

3-year-old Reese: “Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.”

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us from E-mail.

One particular four-year-old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.

“You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.”

“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door?

They’re hushers.”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,

‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,

“Ryan, you be Jesus!”

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

“Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.

“He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said,

“Did God throw him back down?”

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,

“Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

As I sit and update our gallery with photos of our yard *wow… exciting* I can’t help but have scenes from Edward Scissorhands (removed by remote site) and The Burbs flash in my head.

I try to time it so Ryan and I aren’t leaving the house for work at the same time. Otherwise I have a very weird day.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Dear President Bush:

I’m about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family,
and I would like to ask you to assist me. I’m going to walk across
the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few
arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
immigration quotas and laws. I’m sure they handle those things the
same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that
I’m on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting
the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might
need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the
flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and
lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy
access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won’t make any
effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the
memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all
police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals
on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not
want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes,
and don’t enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice
and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might
place on the economy.

14. Eventually I want to be able to vote and have all election materials

and notices sent to me in English with Spanish as a second language..

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these
things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico.

I am sure that Pres. Fox won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him
nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail
hunting with your V.P.

If you read here often, you will soon find out I don’’t care what the chef’s family did or who the managing partner is; neither of these trivial facts make a difference if the service is slow and my steak is overdone, or, as in the case of Lanny’s, both.

Lanny’s had a nice atmosphere, cozy but nice, a little too loud to be considered romantic and the couple sitting next to us was sitting NEXT to us.

Tap water served, without asking our preference, something that really irked me considering the money. This would easily be a $150+ meal, the very least a place like this can do is offer us bottled water, just not toss the smell Fort Worth tap at us. I finally requested bottle water and was pleased to see the waitress bring VOSS to the table.

The menu looked quite amazing, the selection a little daunting as I didn’t know where to begin. Jessica took the easy way out and ordered the five course tasting menu, without the wine parings and I took even a more wussy way out and went with the steak, medium rare.

Service was amazingly slow and inattentive, again, for this price point, I expect more. Jessica’s courses came out with little fanfare, and were pretty good overall. Some were a little bland, like the goat cheese potatoes, but they would have been better had she gotten the wine paring with it.

Eventually the entrees arrived, and my steak was medium well. I never got to tell anyone this since we didn’t see our server again until after we had eaten. I didn’t bother informing her since I did eat it, but again, at this price, I would expect it to be right.

I decided to order a desert so I wouldn’t have to watch Jessica eat her crème brûlée, but it didn’t arrive until after she had finished her bland, if perfectly textured, custard. I refused it and sent it back, prompting a visit from the manager who then comped us our drinks. Jessica had a pomegranate margarita and gave it a non-comitial “meh” when asked. I had two vodka martinis but in typical Ryan style they were just vodka with a twist. The check came out to be about 100 even plus a little for tip, but I will admit had the manager not been so generous with the comps, I would have tipped much less than the 18% I did.

Overall, Lanny’s either needs to up the service, or drop the price, but as it is, the entire experience was unbalanced and painful.

Don’t go to Sullivan’s anymore. We went this past weekend and it was horrible. They ended up calling Del Frisco’s to get a table for us. It’s bad when you would rather pay for a meal somewhere else rather than accept a free meal. It’s also bad when we had our wedding reception at Sullivan’s, back when it was a classy place, and we say to avoid it now.