Archive for the ‘ramblings’ Category

Dad…

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

My dad has a domain, (http://www.cmmeinzer.com) but uses it almost totally for emails.  I have tried to show him the evils of Wordpress and blogging, but to no avail.

That said, and in the spirit of my constant giving him a hard time, I have highjacked his webpage!  Since it is on my server, I thought, “What the heck, not like he will ever do anything with it.”  So, it is now mine! (Insert evil laugh here).  Maybe he will see what you can do with a spiffy domain, but maybe not.  Either way, it is better than a dumn “Coming Soon” site that will never change.

Texans….we are a little odd, but we love y’all nonetheless

Saturday, July 26th, 2008

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas

  • If someone in a Lowe’s store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you may live in Texas
  • If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas
  • If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas
  • If ‘Vacation’ means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas
  • If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas
  • If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas
  • If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas
  • If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas
  • If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody’s passing you, you may live in Texas
  • If you find 60 degrees ‘a little chilly,’ you may live in Texas

I don’t want any…

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

We live in a fairly new neighborhood with all the amenities we could want. We have a water park, lots of trails to walk, play grounds, a spray park, good schools, and freaking paper hanging doorbell ringing sales folk. More than once in the last couple of weeks, Illi was down for less than 15 minutes when the doorbell rings, Mydrinn goes crazy, and it is just some moron selling something stupid with the same pitch everyone else uses. “I was just over at __________ (some generic name)’s house, and she loved this and bought a ton. But first, let me bore you about my company and other crap you don’t care about.” I mean really, we don’t give a rat’s who bought what, assuming the rather dubious assertion is even true. They never take no for an answer, and just keep talking (I assume) after the door is closed.

So, we researched the laws of Fort Worth, and found out that putting up a “No Soliciting” sign means that anyone that puts anything on our door, or petitions us for any reason can incur a $500 dollar, per incident fine. The only people exempt are government officials. We looked around online for something tasteful (and affordable), couldn’t find one (this one came up on our search many times - yuck), so we just put up a paper sign in the window with the following:

No Soliciting
Violation of this notice may result in a $500 per incident fine.
City of Fort Worth (Ord. No. 15245, § 1, 9-17-02) & (Ord. No. 17829, § 1, 10-9-07)
This includes Handbills and Religious Petitioning

Hopefully that will get the point across. If not, I will just start turning everyone into to the City for code violations. We like our sleep around here, and our “guard dog” Mydrinn will not be deterred from his solemn duty, so do us all a favor, just go away, we aren’t buying anything from you anyways.

There were several good stories around on the net about this topic, but one of my favorites was this girl’s. Her blog name and motto are just so good, I had to link back.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Friday, December 14th, 2007

The other night Ryan and I had been play harassing each other as usual, but he took it to the next level.

Let me give you some background…Some people might find the spray of the toilet refreshing on their derriere. I am not one of those people. I think that automatically flushing toilets are a great idea as long as they are calibrated properly. I cannot stand having the toilet randomly flushing on me, and of course they typically decide to act that way when I *really* have to go to the bathroom. So when the toilets start flushing I rush to stand up, which makes it difficult to relax. ‘There was one time I was at the airport and *all* of the toilets were randomly flushing. I kept getting up at the sound of every flush because I was never sure if it was mine or one next to me.’

So, the other night Ryan came over and flushed the toilet while I was using it.

[Ryan: I am still laughing]

Kaskade

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

A long time favorite of mine, Kaskade, has a song I’m totally in love with right now, ‘Wink of an Eye’. Illianna and I danced to it last night before bath time. Everyone should have something by Kaskade on their ipod.

Kids in Church

Wednesday, September 6th, 2006

I don’t forward chainmail, so I’ll post it.

3-year-old Reese: “Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.”

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us from E-mail.

One particular four-year-old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.

“You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.”

“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door?

They’re hushers.”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,

‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,

“Ryan, you be Jesus!”

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

“Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.

“He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said,

“Did God throw him back down?”

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,

“Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

Clock

Wednesday, August 30th, 2006

Today I watched as the clock on my computer turned to 1:00 PM. I realized that I haven’t ever noticed or remember looking at the computer clock when it changes. This is a blog worthy event.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

I will get another song stuck in your head:

Homemade Battlemech

Saturday, July 22nd, 2006

The other day I mentioned a homemade battlemech as a testament to freetime. Just to prove my point here is a movie of said battlemech:

Still, this would be an awesome Halloween costume.

I’ve been thinking…

Thursday, July 20th, 2006

LeFou: “A dangerous past time.”
I know!

Anyways, this would be great:

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