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5 Reasons Marketing Departments are like 3 year olds

September 10, 2011

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  1. You have to repeat yourself a lot.
  2. You have to explain things over and over again in different ways, and still not get the point across.
  3. It doesn’t matter what else is going on in your life, their wants are far more important than your (or anyone else) needs.
  4. They think everything for which they ask is very simple, and no amount of evidence will convince them otherwise.
  5. They think “Now” is a completely legitimate deadline.

Of course, this could apply to a lot of different departments, heck, I am sure some poor delusional soul out there thinks these could apply to IT, but for now, let’s remember, the just fit best with Marketing.  Not a specific Marketing department, but just about all with which I have ever worked.

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New Moon….please make it end

July 8, 2010

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Ok, Jess and I watched Twilight New Moon the other night and I am still in a ball in the corner trying to understand if there was a point to those 2+ hours that I just missed.  I have finally come to the conclusion that no, there is no point.  The entire movie could have been made into about 12 minutes, because the rest of the time all we got to watch was one character or another staring off into the distance.  For the record, if it was even a slight surprise to you that Jacob was a werewolf, you are a mental defective and should stick to watching Dora the Explorer that way the plot is linear enough for you to follow.

Let’s go through a checklist of what it takes to make a Twilight movie:

Acting?  Nope.
Plot?  Nope.
Anything surprising at all?  Nope.
Wasting lots of time with montages as if that makes a movie?  Check.
Lots of staring into the distance?  Check.
Vocalizing the obvious?  Check.
Taking a 2×4 to your head to make sure you have a low enough IQ to enjoy Twilight?  Check.

The moral to the story is, if you drool on yourself, you will enjoy the movie.  Otherwise….have some dignity and watch Battlefield Earth instead.

The only way I may watch another one would be if it was like this:

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Top 15 Advantages of Being a Temp

May 25, 2010

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I’ve held onto a list from Dilbert.com from 2001 as to the Top 15 Advantages of Being a Temp.  It’s still so true.
1. You’re only lending your soul, not selling it.
2. You won’t be there when the fruits of your labor turn rotten.
3. Trying on a different personality at each new job site.
4. You don’t have to continually fork over park of your paycheck for coworkers’ weddings, babies, birthdays and anniversaries, or children’s school, scouts, athletic, and band fund-raising efforts.
5. No one gives you clothes emblazoned with the company logo and then expects you to wear them.
6. You can avoid the internal “war”. I once temped at an office so divided and filled with hate, one half wouldn’t even speak with the other.. it was my job to convey messages between the enemy camps.
7. Your true Pointy-Haired Boss is usually miles away… and the “customer” PHB can often be ignored.
8. Overtime at time and a half! woohoo!
9. Leaving at 4:30.
10. Eight words: “It was like that when I got here.”
11. You get to hear the words, “good job” and “please stay” frequently.
12. When the company goes out backwards your resume says you worked for an agency.
13. You don’t give a rat’s hoohaa what the stock is doing.
14. I know my end date.  The directs don’t.
15. It’s like being the only lemming in the group with a parachute…

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We are Moving…

March 15, 2010

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OK, it is official, we are moving.  The house in Keller is sold, we close this month, and are moving to Flower Mound.  We are moving to a much larger home, also to be closer to the ranch were we keep our horse soon to be horses.  Nothing wrong with Keller, just ready for a change.  Been here over six years which is a record for both of us, and time to move along.  Running the company and having another kiddo requires more space than our house has now, so we found a buyer and found a new house and are excited to go.  Maybe we will have a house warming of some kind, Jess would know, I don’t do that stuff.  So, yeah!

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12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

February 4, 2010

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  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
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Big Pax on AA

December 3, 2009

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I am a pretty big guy, not fat, but very tall and broad shouldered and the little airline seats suck for me, and more so for the person next to me…but this is fricking ridiclous!

http://www.flightglobal.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/73953Big jpg

This is just crazy.  How can this be safe?  How did he even get on the plane with only one seat and not three?  I know AA is retarded, hence the reason I do not fly them anymore, but dear God, someone do something!

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Dude, I got a Dell…

May 20, 2009

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Well, I finally broke down and got a laptop. It has been a while since I had one, or felt I needed one. But here I am typing this on my shiny new laptop.

While I am extremely pro-Linux, and getting more so as I deal with Vista and the stupidity that is Microsoft’s latest OS (I can’t wait for Windows 7, anything is an improvement). Enough about Vista, be looking for that in a few days, as I have to deal with it, and pretend I have the intelligence of a basic moss covered rock in order to use it. I digress…

I didn’t end up getting a Mac for a couple of reasons. First is the price, it is more expensive for less machine, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but I do understand it as they are pretty sexy. But I will admit as I type here on this backlit keyboard, this Dell is pretty sexy as well.

I have had some terrible support experiences with Apples over the last few years. You have to drag your computer to an Apple store, after you make an appointment, then you have to wait to get it back, which could be weeks. I don’t have the time for that crappy service. If I could tolerate that level of incompetence, then I wouldn’t have much of a case for the purchase of a computer in the first place.

Instead, Dell gives me next business day on site, with even accidental damage covered. Apple doesn’t even begin to offer that kind of service, regardless of their completely misleading commercials.

Then there is the issue of having to run Windows in a virtual machine for a lot of the software, and having to re-purchase the Adobe suite which is like $1800, instead of being able to use the fair-use clause and use the same copy for both my desktop and laptop.

So, what would the point of paying more for way crappy service, having to double up on software, new learning curve, and then running the other OS in a virtual machine. So, here I sit, hating Vista, but loving the machine, especially for the price. Thanks Dell, and oh, Apple, take note, either improve your warranty service, or just don’t bother going after the larger business market outside of the creative arenas.

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The Banks must be Stopped!

February 18, 2009

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As we all know, the economy is in the dump with no relief in sight.  In fact, it is only getting worse as we sink more and more closely to the dreaded “d” word, depression.

My wife and I have several credit cards like most Americans.  We pay our bills on time, always paying above minimums.  We shop to get the good rates and favorable terms, that is until recently.

In the last ~60 days, we have received several notifications that our interest rates are increasing and/or our credit lines are decreasing.  We have good credit, never missed a payment, always pay above minimum, and yet, even on cards we do not have a balance we are seeing our rates moved from fixed single digit rates to double digit variable rates.

A couple of the cards claim that they ran our credit and that is the reason for the increase of rates and decrease of credit line.  However, our credit score is higher now than it was when we were issued the card, so that reason is completely bogus.

Closing the account is not a viable option since that hurts our credit score.

This irresponsible behavior, tightening of credit without cause is only going to further the economic crisis.  We are, without cause, being charged more for the same credit.  It is like a double inflation.  Credit costs more, the dollar is worth less, and yet, without credit and a strong dollar, the American economy will never recover.

Credit companies must be held responsible for their actions.  Consumers need more options for recourse when adverse actions are taken without notice or explanation against their accounts.  Closing the account isn’t feasible since it hurts the credit score of the consumer.

Either this behavior is stopped, or the economy will continue to falter.  When faced with higher interest rates for no reason, and lower credit terms, do you honestly think the consumers will be willing to spend any rebates or refunds?  Of course not, we will be too busy trying to pay down our increasing debt load despite no spending or reckless actions on our part.

Write your representation now!

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Happy New Year!

January 1, 2009

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I hope everyone survived 2008 ok.  God knows the stock market, banks, airlines, and a lot of other people didn’t.  I am looking forward to a new year, a new job, more great times with my family, and of course, surprises that are just part of life.

So, with that in mind, enjoy the New Year, and check back soon!

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Dad…

September 2, 2008

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My dad has a domain, (http://www.cmmeinzer.com) but uses it almost totally for emails.  I have tried to show him the evils of WordPress and blogging, but to no avail.

That said, and in the spirit of my constant giving him a hard time, I have highjacked his webpage!  Since it is on my server, I thought, “What the heck, not like he will ever do anything with it.”  So, it is now mine! (Insert evil laugh here).  Maybe he will see what you can do with a spiffy domain, but maybe not.  Either way, it is better than a dumn “Coming Soon” site that will never change.

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