As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, “Y’all havin’ some problem with them circle flies?”

Obama stopped talking and said, ”Well, yes, if that’s what they’re called, but I’ve never heard of circle flies.”

“Well, sir,” the cowboy replies, “Circle flies hang around ranches.  They’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.”

“Oh,” Obama replies as he goes back to rambling.  But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, “Are you calling me a horse’s ass?”

“No, sir,” the cowboy replies, “I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their president a horse’s ass.”

“That’s a good thing,” Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best  Texas  drawl says,  “Hard to fool them flies, though.”

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Well, I thought “Video Card“, but I was wrong.  I went out and bought a new ATI 5870 by Asus.  Turned out replacing my 4870 with that beast didnt do a thing for me.  So, back the $400+ card went.

Well, it must be software then, the problem now being I can either re-install XP, or try Windows 7 since that is where I will have to update to within 6 months anyways.  Out I go to get Windows 7 Pro, and more than $2,000 later, it is finally installed and working.

Upon installing it, I had network driver issues from hell.  Who knew a Linksys wireless G PCI card wouldnt work with Win7?  What kind of moronic OS development team made it where one of the most prolific network card manufacturers products wouldn’t work?  Answer:  Microsoft!  But since I used the word “moronic” we all knew that was coming, right?  Ok, read a lot online about the various woes of people with that card, and I upgraded to a D-Link N card, that seemed better.  Only, it wasnt.  But I knew, from what I read online the network card was correct.  Could it possibly be my Linksys router?  I mean, really, a router is a router right?  Nope!  I replaced the router with a Netgear one and BAM, it works great on the network now.  Spiffy!  Time to start installing software finally.

That’s right, installing software, because for some dumb-ass reason you can’t upgrade from XP to Win7, they expect you to have had 2×4 to the head and actually used Vista.

Start installing software, and the first reboot, the computer doesn’t come back up.  Not only that, the primary hard drive isnt even seen by the BIOS anymore.  WTF!!!???  How did Win7 just kill a Seagate HD?  I have no idea, but it did.  Off I go to purchase new hard drives.  This time, I got two, so I can RAID 1 them, “ah ha!” I will show you Microsoft, I will fix your stupidity with hardware. RAID array created, Windows 7 installed (again), and now I can start installing software.

But wait, Adobe CS2 isnt supported by Windows 7, so, $1,699 later, I am the extremely annoyed owner of CS4 Web Premium, a supported version of the ridiclously priced yet required by everyone software suite.

I get everything re-installed, except for my document management software, Source Link.  It seems those retards over there won’t reissue a CD key without a $60 fee, “because that is how we control the licenses”.  “Why do I use your software again”, I wonder as I am re-downloading games from EA, Quickbooks,  NuSphere, and a ton of other software that doesnt require me to pay them to reinstall their software on the same computer. Clearly everyone else has figured it out, even Microsoft and Adobe!  And get this, I get to upgrade as well to SourceLink 2010 in order to have it supported as well.

So, what is the final tab you ask….

$200 for Windows 7
$350 for 2 Hard Drives
$70 for Network Card
$70 for Router
$1700 for Adobe CS4
$50 for new McAfee
$169 for SourceLink
Total: $2,609 plus tax for the privelege, nay honor, nay ass raping that is Windows 7.  I bow to Microsoft’s superior skills at making their products part of everyday life, because both I am in awe I spent that much, and bowing is about all I can do since I won’t be sitting for at least  week, or until the bleeding stops.

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