On our recent vacation I saw one that said “God is Pro-Life”, and man did that annoy me.  Is God Pro-Life?  If you are answering unequivocally “yes”, how the heck do you know?  Did you ask him?  Did he blog it?  Did you get the memo?  Last I looked we, humans, were given free choice by God, so the facts would tend to lead to the conclusion he is Pro-Choice.

For those of you that don’t know, I am Pro-Choice.  I don’t see it as my place to tell others what to do in their relationship, with their bodies, or with their lives.  That is a decision everyone should make on their own, and the consequences, one way or another, are between you and God.  No one else.  That same outlook also makes me for Gay Marriage, since again, who am I to condemn someone’s way of life.  If they are happy and not making me or mine unhappy, I don’t care who or what they do.

I am also pretty damn sure the Bible said do not judge people, love everyone, and treat everyone (and by extension their beliefs) with respect and generosity.

So to those of you running around all pissed at me now for saying God is actually Pro-Choice…why do you care?  Are you, personally, going to adopt each possible abortion?  If not, you don’t have a pony in the race and should sit down.

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For those of you that do not know, my wife is Christian Science, and I of course love her.  I am really ok with CS, but this one thing just irks me.

At the beginning of each CS service, they set up what CS is, which is a good thing since it is a less traditional take on the Protestant movement.  Part of that little spiel is they explain that there is no pastor, just the Bible and their “textbook”: Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. That book was written back in the late 19th century by Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of CS.  They then explain that the reason for not having a pastor is “un-divorced from truth, uncontaminated and unfettered by human hypotheses and divinely authorized”.  Um…so you don’t want a pastor, because you don’t want your message contaminated by humans, and yet you read from a book that a human wrote that is admittedly not the Bible?  WTF?  Really?  Do you even bother to listen to yourself?

Just to reiterate, pastors are bad because they speak what they think with the Bible as a guide, fettering the message if you will, so instead we read only from two books, one of which a mortal non-divine woman wrote about 120 years ago.  If you have never read the CS book, you should.  It is basically her responses to the scriptures.  For example…

Bible
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. – Matthew 5:5

CS Textbook
Whatever text the “Mother Church” in Boston decides will be the response.  A few weeks ago it something to do with authority which didn’t make any sense to me, since it just didn’t seem relevant.

So yes, they do “fetter” the Bible, and God’s word, which I am honestly OK with since I go to church.  Let’s just not start off every single sermon message thing with a hypocritical statement.  There is enough of that to go around in organized religion as it is.

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My mother’s health and home life isnt all that stable, so out of the 6 or so weeks Illi could have attended, she has made all 6, but 4 of them we had to drive her, an hour each way, instead of the actual plan of meeting and geting some time to ourselves, even more important now that Anara is here.  A total bust there.

We then started looking around at the local churches.  Gateway Church in Southlake, for all its size, doesn’t have a preschool or MDO program.  (hint hint).  Then we checked out Harvest Baptist Church in Watagua which at first glance seemed like a good idea.  However, upon further investigation, they want to place Illianna in the 1-2 year old because she was born on 9/11 instead of 9/1 or before.  10 days!  It didnt matter to them that Illianna is the size of a 6 year old, they evidently want to hold back her development because of the beaucracy.  When questioned about it, the receptionist said they just did what the schools did.  Dont make me laugh!  First and foremost, the schools make a lot of exceptions.  Secondly, Harvest has their own school, which wouldnt be needed or have students if the schools were so damn perfect.  The receponsist did say the supervisor would evaluate the situation after a month or so.  Not good enough.  A month and all the costs paid later, what if she was stuck because there wasnt room or the supervisor didnt feel she should be moved? I refuse to go through the hassle.  I asked to speak to the supervisor, and was told she wasnt aviable, only to meet her about 4 minutes later when she came out and introduced herself as the Executive Director.  I told her the problem, and she said, “Yes, that is the rule.”

Oddly enough, just because you are a church doesnt mean I am not a customer.  Exceptions in the system as large as Keller ISD are made all the time, so surely there is some wiggle room over 10 days before you place a kid that is bigger than any of your 4 year olds into the same class with kids that are only 15 months.  But alas, no.  So we are going to look for another program, hopefully one that is a bit less set on their rules and regulations.

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. ~ Henry David Thoreau.

3-year-old Reese: “Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.”

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us from E-mail.

One particular four-year-old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.

“You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.”

“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door?

They’re hushers.”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,

‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,

“Ryan, you be Jesus!”

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

“Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.

“He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said,

“Did God throw him back down?”

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,

“Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”