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Top 15 Advantages of Being a Temp

By
Xnuiem
– May 25, 2010Posted in: ramblings, thoughts

I’ve held onto a list from Dilbert.com from 2001 as to the Top 15 Advantages of Being a Temp.  It’s still so true.
1. You’re only lending your soul, not selling it.
2. You won’t be there when the fruits of your labor turn rotten.
3. Trying on a different personality at each new job site.
4. You don’t have to continually fork over park of your paycheck for coworkers’ weddings, babies, birthdays and anniversaries, or children’s school, scouts, athletic, and band fund-raising efforts.
5. No one gives you clothes emblazoned with the company logo and then expects you to wear them.
6. You can avoid the internal “war”. I once temped at an office so divided and filled with hate, one half wouldn’t even speak with the other.. it was my job to convey messages between the enemy camps.
7. Your true Pointy-Haired Boss is usually miles away… and the “customer” PHB can often be ignored.
8. Overtime at time and a half! woohoo!
9. Leaving at 4:30.
10. Eight words: “It was like that when I got here.”
11. You get to hear the words, “good job” and “please stay” frequently.
12. When the company goes out backwards your resume says you worked for an agency.
13. You don’t give a rat’s hoohaa what the stock is doing.
14. I know my end date.  The directs don’t.
15. It’s like being the only lemming in the group with a parachute…

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3

12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

By
Xnuiem
– February 4, 2010Posted in: 300 million morons, ramblings, thoughts
  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
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Ugh.. I hurt

By
jessica
– July 27, 2004Posted in: thoughts

We went to Six Flags yesterday with Ryan’s best friend and his fiance. It was actually an enjoyable experience. That’s right, it’s July in Texas and we went to Six Flags and managed to have fun. ‘it was overcast’ We were able to skip to the front of the line because Ryan cannot stand long, thank you drunk driver. I must say the service wasn’’t great, but then it’s a bunch of kids running the show, which I believe adds to the thrill of it all…. Knowing that some kid who is only there to hit on the clientel and utilize the park for free is in charge of a ride that is going to send you shooting into the air at unbelievable speeds, and you are willingly subjecting yourself to the whiplash. I don’t think our chiropractor would be happy with us. Anyway, so Ryan’s using a cane and when we return to the loading dock with windblown hair and nausea and adrenaline mixing in our stomachs, the kids just stare at us with a blank expression wondering why we’re not getting off when less than 2 minutes ago they took his cane. After one ride, we embarked on a climb up a ton of stairs not knowing that we’d have to go back down, and then to our dismay find an exit door which we peered through to see where we’d gotten off the train. Pft…. Kids these days. So with all of this said we’ve decided that will more than likely be the last time we to go Six Flags until we have children that guilt us into taking them. Ryan had to conquer the falling sensation before he could rest. I got horrible sleep. I was having difficulty comprising coherent sentences, so I came home from work early which was a good thing because I started to have the shakes. Anytime I get the shakes I know that my body is trying to get my attention. It’s saying, “GOOD GOD WOMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!?” Ryan followed me to LaMadeline where we grabbed a quick meal of complex carbs and protein before making the trek home. For the record, complex carbs are not always bad I wait with a sick anticipation to see how all of the Atkin’s freaks come out once the hype is gone. An observation was shared with me on how there wasn’t a weight problem until we started dieting. I completely agree with this assessment. Time for Key Lime pie!

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