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Jake

By
Xnuiem
– December 13, 2010Posted in: missy moo, thoughts

Well, for those of that dont know, Jake, our horse, passed away back in September.  We had to put him down after he had been very ill for about six weeks.  We took him to a vet to try and figure out why he wouldnt eat, and it ended up being stomach cancer.

Cancer is unheard of in a 9 year old quarter horse.  He just wasnt old, he was just getting into life.  We had him for just under a year, but were and still are very attached.

He was a great horse.  He would go out in the pasture and run and run with me, come back and be calm enough for Illianna to ride by herself without even a lead.  He loved the girls, would protect Jessica, and tried to get in my lap once when I sat down out in the pasture.  He was very convinced he was was a 1500 lbs puppy dog.  He would always come up to you in the pasture, and give all he had when you had him under saddle.  He was the type of horse that would make anyone think they were amazing with horses since he just knew it all, with very little teaching.  He wanted to please which made it so easy and wonderful to be around him.

We have put up all the pictures we have of him at his picture gallery.  If you look at the one picture of him being led by Illianna, you can see how much weight he lost.  That was taken the day before we found out about his cancer and put him down.  He was our first horse, won’t be our last, and taught us that even though he didn’t live with us, he was a huge part of our life and has changed our family forever.  Jake, you are remembered, and will always be loved.

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6

For the Love of God, Optimize those Images!

By
Xnuiem
– October 7, 2010Posted in: programming, website

Time for another lesson in web design: Image Optimization!  Yes, as we all know it is really pretty to have a huge header on your website.  Hey, look at this website, I have large images on my front page.  But, you don’t have to make that experience painful for your users, especially those on *gasp* dial-up!

The solution is simple: optimize your images.  I use Fireworks, but Photoshop has it built in these days as well.  It is basically a way of taking the image you want to use, and removes unwanted data, making the image size smaller, and hence, faster to load.  The web is a horrible medium for images, the 72dpi resolution of most monitors is just not that great.  But, it is all we have right now, and that is probably a good thing since anything more and the image just gets bigger and bigger.

By optimizing, your look stays intact, and everyone can enjoy it faster.  And it is cheaper on your wallet since it requires less bandwidth and less CPU to serve a smaller file.  Speaking of cheap, for those of you that do not have the Adobe suite, there is a pretty spiffy free online optimizer here.  Enjoy, and for the love of all things holy, optimize!

If you want to read more on the topic: HTMLSource.

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12 Things Women need to know about Men when it comes to Sex

By
Xnuiem
– April 14, 2010Posted in: ramblings, thoughts

These assume you are in a relationship, one night stands, booty calls, and f*ck buddies do not count.  There is another set of rules mostly ending with “just f*ck me”.

  1. Yes, we think about sex a lot.  In fact, if you actually knew how much or in what detail, you would never stop blushing.   It is how we are wired.  It is like you thinking about if your ass looks fat in jeans or your hair is frizzing due to humidity, we are just more direct and simple than that.
  2. If you consider the relationship like a tall building, women are up on the 100th floor, all CEO like, communicating, being rational, using logic, and trying to connect before and during sex. Men are in sub basement J working on the furnaces turning up the heat until clothes come off.
  3. We worry about our body just as much as you do, we just don’t dwell on it when we are naked together, we are far more interested in your body at this point.  Take a hint from that, we would like it to be the same way.  When we are naked together, don’t worry about what I think of your body, because guess what, it looks great to me, if it didn’t, we wouldn’t have tried so hard to get you to this point.  Don’t be so uptight about your thighs/breasts/stomach/hips/ass/pubic hair (or lack thereof)/smell/taste that you let a great night of sex with your willing and hungry man pass you by.  Turn off that part of your head, look into our lustful eyes, and try to see you as we do: An amazing goddess that we want to have/taste/touch every inch of and give a great night.
  4. When you say “Don’t stop”, for some reason we hear “do it faster/harder/better”.  So, do us a favor and be even more direct, something like “just like that, perfect, just like that”.  Let’s face it, at this point, we don’t have enough blood left in our head to recognize our native language, much less understand complex directions like “don’t stop”.
  5. Your vagina is foreign soil to us.  We didn’t get to play with a vagina 10 times a day during junior high like we did with our cocks.  So, when we are down there, give us some direction.  A little to the right?  To the left?  Somewhere in the middle? Fingers?  No?  You will like it better and we will be even more confident about doing it.
  6. Don’t ever fake it.  Tell us what you need to get off.  We want you to get off, as much as you want.  By this point, we are going to get off.  It isn’t hard to make us climax, and since we actually are into you and want to come back for more, tell us what you need to make it happen.
  7. Talking dirty is all sorts of hot.  You don’t have to swear or even use a recognizable language; moaning, breathing, and gasping are all good.  If you don’t believe me, call your man at work some time, and just make those types of noises into the phone.  I promise you, there is a severely horny man on the other end of the line trying to figure out how to cancel meetings and rush home to pounce you.
  8. Don’t ask us for honesty when looking at clothing.  We will say anything looks great if it increases our chance of getting to peel it off you.  Besides, we are usually thinking about having a tryst right there and then in the dressing room.
  9. Don’t demean us for kinky ideas.  We are like Jacques Cousteau, and want to explore all kinds of things.  We have seen a lot of porn in our life and are curious if a finger around your anus will make you scream in pleasure.  We aren’t trying to offend or anything, just curious, and are comfortable with you enough to suggest (or try) it.
  10. Blowjobs are amazing. We love them.  If you are adverse to giving, let us know why and we will fix it.  Do you need directions, candles, pretty smells, us to shave or trim, what?  We will fix it, I promise you.
  11. Just because we notice another woman, doesn’t mean we are even considering anything with her.  Maybe she had those shorts with something written on the ass, or some bling tried to burn our retinas, or something was off, or we know her from work, etc.  Perhaps we just noticed her because you are so much more desirable and she doesn’t know she is being outshone and out classed by you in your sweat suit instead of pretending behind designer clothes or makeup.
  12. Even thought you may not feel desirable or lusty at the moment because you are eating/cooking/cleaning/running etc, you are.  You always are, no matter what.  For the record, your sweat contains pheromones that drive us nuts, so next time you aren’t feeling sexy because you just worked out, remember your body didn’t get the memo and is broadcasting the menu to us.
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3

Camping

By
jessica
– February 28, 2009Posted in: travel

We went on a getaway earlier this week.  It can be exhausting waiting for the phone to ring or an email to come in about a job opportunity.  It’s important to keep your spirits up, so we’ve been trying to frequent parks and take in as much fresh air as we can.  That’s a difficult thing to do living in the city, so we decided to go camping.

We were headed up to OK, but found out there was a burn ban, and what’s the fun in camping without a fire?  We ended up at Martin Creek State Park, in one of their little cabins.  We like to do tent camping, but Illianna is still a little too young.  Illianna loved running around the cabin and exploring the woods.  She was collecting things and giggling at every corner.  I’ve never seen her so filthy, and let me say she is a regular mess pot, but this took the cake.  I turned a blind eye to the dirt until she grabbed some cereal which had obviously fallen in the dirt/ash and came up to me with dirty hands and a black mouth trying to spit it out.  Poor little thing.  She’s so well trained to pick her food up and eat it after it’s fallen on the floor.

It was nice to see trees older than a couple of years, and we almost had the park to ourselves, but there was a huge power plant humming in the distance and a stupid train announcing its presence every hour or so.  We were able to see some wildlife, roast marshmellows, hike around, and see a few more stars than we can see from our backyard, but we won’t be returning to that park.  We managed to take a pretty decent photo of ourselves.

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Kids in Hats

By
jessica
– June 30, 2008Posted in: missy moo

I love kids in hats. From day one I’ve had Illianna in a hat. Unfortunately she’s figured out how to take her hat off, and thinks it’s a trick. Now I’m having to wear hats as well because if she sees me in a hat then she’ll leave hers on.

Yesterday it wasn’t too hot, there was a slight breeze, and a few clouds remained in the sky from a storm that passed through the night before, so we decided to go on a walk. I got us all loaded up, which was a feat of it’s own because once the dogs see their collars come out they start going crazy, and we were just about to head off, when Missy Moo looked up at me with an evil smirk and pulled her hat right off. I only have one hat, which after recently falling into the pool I found out was made of paper (I didn’t know you could make a *real* hat from paper.), so I was in a bit of a predicament. Fortunately I saw one of Ryan’s baseball caps in the entry. It did the trick, and she kept her hat on most of the walk. Of course she wanted to try on Dada’s hat at well.

IMG_1854

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Love Is:

By
jessica
– December 3, 2004Posted in: thoughts

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, \”What does love mean?\” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

\”Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way.\” Charlie age 5
\”When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn\’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That\’s love.\” – Rebecca – age 8
\”When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You know that your name is safe in their mouth.\” Billy – age 4
\”Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.\” Karl – age 5
\”Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.\” Chrissy – age 6
\”Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don\’t yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.\” Samantha -age 6
\”Love is what makes you smile when you\’re tired.\” Terri – age 4
\”Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.\” Danny – age 7
\”Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.\” Emily – age 8
\”Love is what\’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.\” Bobby – age 5
\”If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.\” Nikka – age 6
\”Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no\” Patty – age 8
\”When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you\’re scared they won\’t love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more.\” Matthew – age 7
\”There are two kinds of love. Our love. God\’s love. But God makes both kinds of them.\” Jenny – age 4
\”Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.\” Noelle – age 7
\”Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.\” Tommy – age 6
\”During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn\’t scared anymore.\” Cindy – age 8
My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don\’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.\” Clare – Age 8
\”Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.\” Elaine – age 5
\”Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.\” Chris – age 8
\”Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.\” Mary Ann – age 4
\”I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.\” Lauren – age – 4
\”I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her.\” Bethany – age 4
\”Love cards like Valentine\’s cards say stuff on them that we\’d like to say ourselves, but we wouldn\’t be caught dead saying.\”
Mike – age 8
\”When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.\” Karen – age 7
Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn\’t think it\’s gross.\” Mark – age 6
\”You really shouldn\’t say \’I love you\’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.\” Jessica – age 8
\”God could have said magic words to make the nails fall off the cross, but He didn\’t. That\’s love.\” Max – age 5

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Paradoxical Commandments Of Leadership

By
jessica
– November 8, 2004Posted in: thoughts

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered — Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives — Do good anyway.

If you\’re successful, you\’ll win false friends and true enemies — Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will perhaps be forgotten tommorrow — Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable — Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest man with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest man with the smallest mind — Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only hot dogs — Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight — Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you help them — Help them anyway.

Give the world the best that you have and you will get kicked in the teeth — Give the world the best that you have anyway.

If better is possible, then good is not enough.

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Married Life

By
jessica
– September 24, 2004Posted in: ramblings

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earning\’ his salt, that he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.
On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past – but never the present.
A foolish husband says to his wife, \”Honey, you stick to the washin\’, ironin\’, cookin\’, and scrubbin\’. No wife of mine is gonna work.\”
The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when the interest is kept up.
Many girls like to marry a military man – he can cook, sew, and make beds, and is in good health, and he\’s already used to taking orders.
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age, and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know \”why\” I look this way. I\’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren\’t paved.
How old would you be if you didn\’t know how old you are?
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth…. Remember about Algebra.
You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up, or leaks.
I don\’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don\’t recognize you.
If you don\’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won\’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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