this.rand()

1. You have to repeat yourself a lot.
2. You have to explain things over and over again in different ways, and still not get the point across.
3. It doesn’t matter what else is going on in your life, their wants are far more important than your (or anyone else) needs.
4. They think everything for which they ask is very simple, and no amount of evidence will convince them otherwise.
5. They think “Now” is a completely legitimate deadline.

Of course, this could apply to a lot of different departments, heck, I am sure some poor delusional soul out there thinks these could apply to IT, but for now, let’s remember, the just fit best with Marketing.  Not a specific Marketing department, but just about all with which I have ever worked.

Jess and I just got back from Baltimore late Wednesday night. A short three day trip for some personal business, sans kids. After all the media attention, we were already concerned about the “enhanced” security at the airports, but Baltimore is 24 car hours away, so we have to fly.

Well, at Dallas Love Field (KDAL) there was just the old method of metal detectors. Empty most of the stuff from your pockets and move along. Well, at Baltimore Washington International (KBWI) the scanners are in place and being used.

When we walked up to the security line, Jess asked, “Are those the new scanners?” Yep. She didn’t like the look of them one bit, and even hesitated a little bit. I did point out that not everyone was even being asked to go through, just about every third person.

We emptied our pockets of everything metal or electronic, and stepped up. Jess was waved through the normal “old school” metal detector, but I was instructed to go through the scanner. He, the TSA officer, did not inform me of my right to refuse and get a pat down instead, just told me to go through. I refused, politely. He THEN informed me that would mean I would get pat down, to which I replied “Let’s do this.” I knew the consequences of my choice, but there was no way in hell I was going to get a almost naked image of me taken and God knows what done with it, since the TSA is being very vague about what they actually do with those images.

Another officer stepped up and asked if I had anything in my pockets. I replied I did, my wallet, and he asked me to put it on the belt, to which I refused. I have NEVER been asked to remove my wallet or chapstick, since they are not metal, and most people don’t even notice them. This was new to me, and now I am very unhappy because I have already asked for a pat down, so why do you give a crap what I have in my pockets?

He said that I had to totally empty my pockets. I again refused and asked, again politely, to speak to a supervisor. He said that a supervisor “will just tell you the same thing, so I don’t know why I need to bother him.”. I then, more firmly but still politely, asked to speak to a supervisor. He argued a little bit more, I interrupted his excuses, and said “I have expressed my desire to see a supervisor. I have been polite, can you please just do as I ask.” Well, I suppose he didn’t know what to do with a polite but firm passenger, so he said “OK, fine.”

About a minute, perhaps not even that long, passed and supervisor came up and asked what was going on. I told him I had refused the body scanner, and refused to put my wallet on the belt, where I can not see it, they wont take responsibility for it, and I would be separated for perhaps several minutes while I pat down. I suppose that argument, again politely expressed, just made a lot of sense. He moved me through the normal metal detector, with my wallet in hand, and asked me to have a seat in the pat down area.

Another officer, Officer Bell, came up to me and asked for my wallet. I handed it over, and he said he would now go through with it me watching. “No problem,” I replied. My wallet is very small and very tightly packed. He really did seem uncomfortable with it, since he didn’t see how to get things out without potentially causing a huge mess. I asked him how he wanted to proceed and the supervisor, who was standing near by, said that he would personally run it through the scanners (the old normal ones) and ensure that it never left his sight, except while in the scanner, and he would take personal responsibility for it.

“Fine. Thank you.” That seemed like a very fair arrangement and let us both achieve our goals. His of getting me checked out and on my way and me of not losing my wallet at BWI.

He did that and came back and handed it back to me. Thanked me for my cooperation, and left the area.

Officer Bell then asked me to step on the spots on the floor mat, and put my arms up, palms up. He had latex gloves on, was well groomed, and professional. At all times he told me what he was going to do. He started with my shoulders and chest, worked down to my stomach, and then went to my back. He was not rough, forced, or any of the other crap I would have expected based on the media’s repeated telling of the situation.

He then said he would use the back of his hands to go over my buttocks. I replied “alright”. Done. Now, again telling me before hand so I am very informed, he said he would use the back of his hand to go down the zipper of my jeans. “Sure”. Again, done. Not forceful, not threatening, in no way invasive. He then moved down my legs and about 90 seconds after it started, my “enhanced” pat down was finished.

I collected my things and moved along.

Now, the real question is, was my experience normal? Or was the entire staff, with one possible exception, just amazingly polite and professional? I hope not. I hope exactly what I went through is what can be expected no matter what airport you are in. I think the entire TSA situation sucks, and we, as a country, could do better for our security. But, my experience, and the entire time I stayed polite, honest, and professional, and I am glad to see it was not too much to expect them to treat me the same way.

What about the rest of y’all? Anyone pass on the new scanners and ask for a pat down? How did it go?

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• Why the TSA Practices Could Result In Public Rebellion or a Terrorist Attack [Privacy] (gizmodo.com)
• Jesse Ventura Sues The TSA Over Body Scanners, “Unwanted Touching” (mediaite.com)
• My Very Own TSA Nightmare (pajamasmedia.com)
• TSA Loses in Court. Must Allow Filming. Cannot Demand ID. (dvorak.org)
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• : TSA encounter at SAN (wilderside.wordpress.com)

I have been wandering around some of the freelancer websites looking for some programming/project management gigs to keep me busy, and I ran across this one on Freelancer.com:

“Want to make a website which features a different picture of a babe everyday.

Successful candidate:

• Must create and design the website
• Logo creation
• Provide 3000 original large, high quality photos with my watermarked logo
• These photos must be legal
• All copyright will belong to me
• Photos must automatically change as of 12:00 PM MST
• Must be able to and will be responsible for setting up the website with advertising program to ensure money is made from visitors”

The poster gave a max budget of $250….

Really!!!???

Let me make sure I understand…You want me to develop the software to power the site (admittedly very simple), design the look and feel of the site, create a logo, and come up with 3000 original photos of “babes” and then sign it all over to you, all for $250?  Then you want me to market it and advertise it?  What the heck do I need you for?  Let’s face it, you cant get 3000 images, even non-original ones for that price, but I have no idea what the photo shoots required would cost…maybe $25000?  For that many images there are going to be a lot of different girls, doing a lot of different things, in a lot of different places.  $25000 may be extremely cheap I don’t know.

I do know the person that posted this is delusional.  He/She wants to pay a paltry sum for someone to do ALL the work.  Usually clients have ideas, content, and know how to market their own stuff, but not in this case.  Maybe this person works in politics and thinks this is how the real work actually operates.

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If you work in the US, you get these letters every so often from the Social Security Administration to let you know what your benefits will be, or would be, based on wages, taxes paid, etc.  They are just depressing, since in my tax bracket, I actually put more money into SS than I will get back if I die before the age of 132.

Yes, that is right, I will never get back all that I put into SS.  Nevermind the fact I should be paid interest on my contributions.  Why was privatizing such a bad idea?

Anyways, I received one of these letters, and it had a section in it entitled “Will Social Security still be around when I retire?“.  Look to the right, there is a scan of this image.

I love how it says “Yes.” at the very begining and then goes on to try and quantify that answer with the basic assumtion you, the reader, didnt pass 2nd grade math.

So, according to this, the money will be gone in 2037.  I hate to point out the fact I dont reach age rull retirement age (67) until 2044.  Not inspiring a lot of trust with already failing in the numbers department.

Then it goes on to say that if nothing is done, in 2037, they should be able to pay about 76% of the benefits to which I am entitiled.  WHAT?!

So just to clarify, Social Security will run out of money ~7 years before I am at full retirement age, AND will only be able to pay 76% of the benefits scheduled, which already are only about 80% of what I paid in, with no interest.

How was the answer “Yes.” to the question “Will Social Security still be around when I retire?“?  You just said we will run out of money years before I am elegible to retire, and even then I wont recieve all that I should.

What have we learned?  First and foremost, like healthcare, the goverment has great ideas, really, they are good ideas, they just have no fricking clue on how to execute it.  None!

Secondly, the correct answer to the question “Will Social Security still be around when I retire?“, is “No.  Not really.”

If you want, contact your folks in Congress, let them know this is a bunch of crap, and now is the time to start fixing it, not 2037, or 2044, or whenever it is you will retire, or (God forbid), need disability.  And if you think you don’t need to save for retirement, go take a 2×4, hit yourself in the head, and start drawing disability now.  Learning to live on that income is the ONLY way you will not need your own retirement setup.

I’ve held onto a list from Dilbert.com from 2001 as to the Top 15 Advantages of Being a Temp.  It’s still so true.
1. You’re only lending your soul, not selling it.
2. You won’t be there when the fruits of your labor turn rotten.
3. Trying on a different personality at each new job site.
4. You don’t have to continually fork over park of your paycheck for coworkers’ weddings, babies, birthdays and anniversaries, or children’s school, scouts, athletic, and band fund-raising efforts.
5. No one gives you clothes emblazoned with the company logo and then expects you to wear them.
6. You can avoid the internal “war”. I once temped at an office so divided and filled with hate, one half wouldn’t even speak with the other.. it was my job to convey messages between the enemy camps.
7. Your true Pointy-Haired Boss is usually miles away… and the “customer” PHB can often be ignored.
8. Overtime at time and a half! woohoo!
9. Leaving at 4:30.
10. Eight words: “It was like that when I got here.”
11. You get to hear the words, “good job” and “please stay” frequently.
12. When the company goes out backwards your resume says you worked for an agency.
13. You don’t give a rat’s hoohaa what the stock is doing.
14. I know my end date.  The directs don’t.
15. It’s like being the only lemming in the group with a parachute…

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I went in to the Flower Mound Branch of Capital One to deposit a pair of checks, one of which was for my mentally and physically disabled father in law for whom I am Attorney In Fact (I have durable power of attorney).  Despite the account being used for this purpose for almost a year with many checks including ones just like this, (Treasury Dept.), I was informed this wasn’t sufficient any longer and I needed to re-open the account correctly.  I have no idea how the account was opened incorrectly, but Lynn, the Assistant Branch manager said it was wrong and therefore we could not deposit the check.  I said that was f—ing ridiculous since we have been doing business this way for almost a year and have so much business at Capital One.  This was after her asking me to sit in her office for over twenty minutes waiting on something that usually takes two minutes and we handle through the drive through.

I then stood up to leave, and Lynn took the check from her desk, and despite me asking her for it, since she wasn’t going to do anything with it anyways, she refused and I reached over and took it from her hand, since after all it was my property and she refused to give it to me.  She then very dramatically claimed I assaulted her, and claimed to call the police.  I laughed considering the preposterous nature of the claim of assault, and left to continue on errands with my family.

While driving, I called the national call center for Capital One and filed a formal complaint with Brittany.  She informed me of the process and that someone would be in touch.

About fifteen minutes later, I received a call on my cell phone from the Flower Mound Police Department asking me to return to either the bank or the police department.  I told them I would be at the police department in about ten minutes.

I showed up and sat down in a conference room with a pair of officers who explained to me the situation.  Lynn is claiming assault, but since it obviously wasn’t assault, it has been moved down to a Class C misdemeanor of “Offensive Touch”, which is dubious since there were no witnesses or any physical evidence.  I filled out a voluntary statement explaining what had happened. The officer  said the bank wanted to “Trespass” me, which basically means they tell me not to come back or they will call the cops.  The officer said he wasn’t going to do it, and asked for my word that I wouldn’t go back.  I, of course, gave it since at this point I can’t take my business from Capital One fast enough.

During this time, my wife had been in the car with my girls and on the phone with Capital One trying to figure out how to continue to conduct business until we can change banks.  Sandy (she introduced herself as the branch manager), told my wife I was not to come back to the bank, and that all our accounts are now frozen (garnished).  Sandy gave no reason for this drastic (and illegal) action.  My wife told Sandy that she needed to buy groceries that night for our infant and toddler daughters, and in response, Sandy said, “You can’t.  Your accounts are all on hold, until you come in and close them.”

One of the accounts garnished was my business account, and LLC which isn’t even mine since it is its own entity not linked to my social security number at all.

My wife eventually got the number for Mr. Randy Hall, the District Manager, whom we tried to call several times but he doesn’t answer his phone and his voicemail isn’t set up, so we were unable to leave him a message.

We received a voice mail on Tuesday from Leslie at the call center saying “there is a chain of command and you will need to speak with the Branch Manager”.  We also found out that day that there really isn’t a branch manager just an interim setup of various people filling in as required.

Since all our accounts were frozen, we went and opened four new accounts at another local bank.  My wife had asked Capital One’s call center for some help in understanding what was going on, but they said we had to speak to the branch manager at the Flower Mound branch.  We couldn’t even go to another branch to get this fixed, and by fixed, I mean, get our money that had been illegal garnished.  We then got our attorney involved to figure out how to get the accounts closed.  He called the Flower Mound PD and they said to just go to the Flower Mound branch, and let them call the police.  As long as we were there conducting business, they can’t ask us to leave since we have effected consent to be on private property.

I didn’t really like that answer, so our attorney called the Flower Mound branch and asked what we could do.  James said my wife could come up there and close the accounts, even though the business account, by contract and law, couldn’t be closed by anyone other than myself.  But since Capital One employees had already broken a few laws, why stop now?  We decided to go to the Lewisville Branch and close the accounts.

Olivia helped us there and was very helpful, friendly, and professional, exactly what we were used to and have come to expect from Capital One over the years.

On Wednesday, I again called the call center and spoke to Kenneth, who was appalled at the entire situation and again gave me Randy Hall’s phone number.  Kenneth did confirm that it was in fact not working and gave me Mr. Hall’s assistant’s phone number instead.  Kenneth did confirm that in Texas it is illegal to place a hold on an account’s funds without state or federal directives and only then it is for child support or the IRS.

I have called and left a message with Randy Hall’s assistant, so we will see where this goes.   I am still pursuing the matter actively with consumer groups, regulatory entities, and governmental agencies.

The treatment was ridiculous.  Does Lynn call the cops on every single person that takes a piece of paper from her hand faster than she wanted?  Especially after being asked for it and not relinquishing it?  If so, it is amazing there are customers at the Flower Mound branch of Capital One at all.  If not, why was I singled out?  What are the consequences for Sandy and Lynn for illegally garnishing our accounts, including a company account which is hurting our business since we can’t cut checks until we have new ones printed?  I have employees to pay, and that now gets delayed due to the illegal scare tactics of Capital One Bank.

For those of you that didn’t know, I am officially looking for a job.  Yes, I have left Caris.  I wasn’t there too long, sadly, but I suppose it was time to move along.  I learned a few things, have some more experience, and paid the bills, what more do you need from a job?

So, although it is the worst time of year in a horrible economy to be looking, I am looking for a job.  The typical, Application Development Manager or Project Manager position, really not further east than Irving with a few exceptions.

And to Caris, well not the company, but the people there, to my friends, I will miss working with you, it was fun and great building PathConnect together and watching it grow and make the customers’ day.  I will remeber the experiences and enjoy looking back.  Good luck in all that you do in the future.

A cousin of mine sent this to me and while I’ve heard it before it’s still a good point.

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired.
During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups – porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.
When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: “Notice that all the nice looking; expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you’re drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.

Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us. God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. And enjoy your hot chocolate.

This has been my first week home with Illianna. It is so rewarding to put her to sleep at night and hardly hear a peep of protest out of her because she’s had such a fulfilling day. I’ve been around to take care of all her needs and a couple of her wants ‘hold me, hold me, hold me’. She is one happy baby and I’m one happy Mommy. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Speaking of shoulders, I can actually feel mine again. They don’t just consist of knots. While I’m still looking forward to our day at the spa we have planned while in Tahoe, it’s not as though I’m just dying for it. It’s as if I’m on a whole new path of self discovery. Take away the corporate world, and some sharp edges dull. They’re not necessary anymore. You come back to your roots. It’s been exciting to watch everyone grow.

I’m so appreciative of all Ryan does to make it possible for me to be at home and run our household properly. We really are so blessed.

I quit my job. I only have two weeks, possibly four, left. I’m torn about the decision. Why? I’m not sure. I look forward to being a stay at home mommy for my sweet Illi. I think it’s fear of the unknown. While I’m not particularly happy with my current job, and certianly not challenged, I know what it will be everyday. Where along the road did I become comfortable with familiarity I’m not sure. I used to change jobs and my surroundings at the drop of a hat. I’m sure I’ll be much happier at home. I know Illianna will be and in turn I will too. I’ve already signed up for a playgroup, so that will keep me connected and hopefully give me something other than Illianna and Oprah to discuss with Ryan.